


I Remember

by Kimecakes



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-26
Updated: 2017-06-26
Packaged: 2018-11-19 12:18:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11313243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kimecakes/pseuds/Kimecakes
Summary: Christine Chapel remembers the events of "Return to Yesterday."





	I Remember

I remember

They think I don't, but I remember.

I remember Spock, prone on a Sickbay bed, his face changing subtly, his chest rising as he takes deep breaths. His look of joy and wonder as he examines his hands. His voice, as he greets me, his eyes lighting with interest… Henoch, not Spock, I remind myself. He calls me 'lovely' in a voice I can only describe as seductive. I saw him watch as Captain Kirk and Dr. Mulhall—embodying Sargon and Thalassa—kiss. He was intent, and demanded my assistance without hesitation when moving to work on the metabolic reduction formula.

I felt him close behind me as we moved to the laboratory; I could feel the heat he emanated, the panther-like grace of his stride as he moved to walk beside me. He was watching everything we passed, but his eyes came back to me again and again; I could feel his glances like a touch.

He was all business as we worked in the lab, preparing the formula, but his face was always busy, reflecting whatever thoughts were racing through his mind. When we had finished, and he handed me the hypos, he was amused, a charming villain—I recognized that immediately when he acknowledged that the Captain would die without the proper formula. I remember that he touched me, his fingers warm on my face, his mind pushing my concerns aside, locking them away, inaccessible. His influence stayed with me, and I reported incorrectly to Dr. McCoy that all was as it should be.

I went to the labs and dosed the Captain and Dr. Mulhall; Mr. Spock was in his quarters and requested that I join him there to administer the hypo. I remember his door closing behind me; his quarters were dark and smelled heavily of incense. He was waiting; I felt his warm fingers as he took the hypo from me and set it on the desk, as he put his hands on my waist and pulled me close. I could hear his breath as he ran warm lips down my neck, could feel the pounding of my heart and the arousal between my thighs as he kissed me. I tasted his skin, his mouth, his tongue, felt him pulling my uniform away, peeling me like a fruit until I stood before him in only my skin. His laugh was satisfied, anticipatory, and all I could see was Spock, though I knew he was Henoch.

I remember well the feeling of his skin on mine, his lean body covering me. His breath was hot in my ear as he panted; his hands firm on my hips as he pulled me to him. His erection was hard and hot as he moved inside me and began to thrust urgently. His small noises echo in my ears as he thrust, as he moved harder and faster. He laughed against my neck as my legs circled his waist and pulled him deeper, as he sped up, groaning, then crying out loudly as he came, and collapsed against me.

I spent every spare moment with him over the next three days, myself while in his quarters, under his influence while outside of them. There was no sleep; he seemed to be trying to make up in days what he had missed in the half a million years he'd been a disembodied mentality. Even when we were in the labs or in Sickbay, I remained in a constant state of arousal, stimulated by the small touches he kept others from seeing, the lustful looks, the smiles that recalled what we did in our private time. I remember trusting him implicitly, following his every order without question. I could feel the difference between when I was myself and when I was reacting to the controls he'd put in place, but it was subtle, slight—I don't think anyone noticed.

At the end, after that third night of pleasure, of exploration, after I had reported to Sickbay and Sargon had placed Spock's consciousness in mine for safekeeping, those details I forgot somewhat, because it was necessary, because Sargon needed Henoch to believe, and I was open to him, transparent. I joined Spock as he approached the bridge, stood beside the command chair as he threatened Sulu. Between his control, Sargon's protective personality overlay, and Spock's persona withdrawn deep inside my mind, I was like an automaton, waiting for the next command. As a mechanical toy, I took the hypo from McCoy, and injected it into Spock's shoulder. As a flesh-and-blood figurine I watched Henoch try to escape his fate, watched him collapse, watched him abandon Spock's body and flee.

As Sargon transferred Spock's consciousness back to his body, he stripped all the controls, all the manipulations away, and I returned to myself, wobbling as if I'd been ill. Spock looked slightly abashed when Kirk gave him a look after finding out where he'd been held, and I tried to keep that silly smile off my face… and failed.

At that point I humiliated myself on the bridge and passed out, waking in Sickbay. I had time to think before McCoy came at the nurse's call, and I realized that not remembering might be for the best. I would not embarrass Spock by reminding him of our shared occupancy. And if Spock should recover any of the memories Henoch might have left during his possession of Spock's body, my not remembering would make dealing with those memories easier. He wouldn't have to be reminded every time we passed in the corridors or worked in the labs. No-one would want to review and analyze everything that I remembered for those days. 

And I would have those memories for myself, even knowing that it was not Spock, not his will, just his body that held me, that loved me.


End file.
